Opposites Attract

So I chose to do Marketing at BYU. Why you may ask? Because this major requires no science. Kenneth chose Chemical Engineering. Kenneth always tries to explain scientific things he has learned in class to me, and I always reply, “Better you than me.” Recently, I have been teasing him that when it comes time for me to have to learn everything (you know, in heaven), that Ken will need to be my personal tutor.


Anyway, for one of my classes, we had to do a personality analysis. These are the jobs that would be the worse choice for my personality type:



As you can see, the lowest suitable job for me is an engineer. But don’t worry, right behind that is a chemist aka Kenneth’s major. Case and point to the title of this post.


Here are the best jobs for me:



So I am going to drop out of school and become a bartender.


Now I know that most of you think I am perfect, but here are some of my challenges  (Ken and I really got a kick out of how true they are):



Mind you, right before I was showing this to Ken, I had just gotten home from the library. Ken asked me how studying went, and I said all right . . . and that I studied with Stacy. Ken laughed. For some reason he thinks that sentence is an oxymoron.


“Pot and smokes”

While I was at work yesterday, I missed two phone calls from the same number that I did not recognize. Now, I can’t just let that slide  . . . I always get too curious, so I called the person back. Boy am I glad that I called back yesterday.


So I dialed the number, and I was only half listening because I was expecting it to be a business recording. All of the sudden, the person started cussing. At that point in the conversation, I started listening. I’m sure I missed some pretty vital points, but this is basically what I got out of the conversation:


“Thanks for the shipment . . . mom is really mad . . . *swearing . . . you owe me $30 . . . I want those pills.”


I told the guy that I didn’t know what he was talking about, and he had the wrong number.


When I woke up this morning, I had two more text messages from the same number. Now remember, I told him that he had the wrong number, and apparently he did not believe me. It’s so hilarious what he said that I have to read it verbatim:


“If that’s how you are going to act after I brought you home and have spent over 200 dollars on you then fine… I want the money you owe me and ill keep my valium and pot and smokes and everything else to my self too and you can fend for yourself”


. . . to which I do not know how to react. I do not know how to reply. I know I probably should be upset, but I think it’s more funny than anything.


Do you think this is appropriate?


Dear Druglord,


I can understand why you’re mom is upset with you. Stop calling and texting me.



The girl who didn’t know how to pronounce Valium

Las Vegas 7’s

For those of you who have not yet been enlightened by one of the best sports to watch on the planet (no, most definitely NOT football!), rugby, then you are missing out. Repent now and look up videos on youtube. 7’s rugby has half the players on the field as 15 a side rules and is very fast paced with a lot of big hits, and it’s all packed into a 15 minute game.

In support of the Fiji 7’s team playing in the USA leg of the IRB sevens world series, Rachel and I went down to Las Vegas to watch the games. In spite of the 12+ hours of driving that took place in a 36 hour period, it was a really fun trip! Fiji did well in the tournament and played South Africa in the finals, but lost 24-14 :(

While there we got to catch up with one of my best friends from middle school days in West Point, NY, Jason McFadden. Seeing him was one of the justifications of going all the way down there. That, and me calling this an “introduction to Fiji” since there were lots of Fijians at the tournament, and we’re planning on going to Fiji in August.  :)  During one of Fiji’s games a group of Fijians congregated above the area we were sitting so we went and joined them…and their 20 x 30 foot Fijian flag! That thing was HUGE!! We also enjoyed meeting up with my MTC teacher and a few other missionaries that I served with in Fiji.

The Fijian's breakaway

I’m really, really excited to go back to Fiji this summer and watching the 7’s tournament was a great way to get in the Fiji spirit. Lako Viti!!

Warm enough to wear sandals!

The Kenyans who all sat together and were so passionate!

The Dorseys

So I decided to put this into the “Vacations” category even though we just stayed in Provo. We had a 3 day weekend due to our great Presidents, so my sister and brother-in-law came down. Tracey and Jacob live in good ole’ Rexburg, Idaho.

Here are some of the fun things that we did:

We played a lot of this! Way fun game!

It’s amazing how many times you can play one game and not get bored with it. Anyway, we got some pretty fun games going. In this game, you are suppose to choose a variety of cards at random. Typically it was Tracey and I who were trying to choose the cards that we wanted, while the boys were refusing to allow us to rig it.

Similarly, it seemed boys against girls when it came to rules for this game as well. Tracey “coincidentally lost the instructions”, and then would make up her own. However, the boys seemed to have a bigger problem with “no one can touch the meticulously placed pile of money that I have, which is hiding my $10 million” rule. To counter our insistence on keeping this rule, Jacob decided to terrorize our piles and spread them all across the table, revealing all of our secrets.

Some phrases that were heard regularly throughout playing the game:

“Tracey is being kind of mean right now!” -Jacob

“Are you kiddin’ me?!” -Jacob

“I like this game. It’s really fun.” -Tracey

“Yeah, I like it because it is fast.” -Jacob

(Without realizing it, we had this conversation 5+ times. Then, of course, we did it on purpose.)

And we ate here.

We wanted to show Tracey and Jacob a Provo favorite, so we took them here . . . and I think it’s safe to say that Tracey loved it. I think Jacob did, too, the second try around.

And we saw this at the Varsity theater on campus.

Have you seen this movie? I love it! Ken and I were a little nervous because we thought that it was going to be a dud compared to Despicable Me since they have similar stories, but it definitely wasn’t a dud! It was funny watching it at the Varsity theater, too. After the show, all of us commented on how funny the crowd was. When there wasn’t a funny part, the crowd seemed to laugh uncontrollably. We’ll blame it on freshmen (no offense).

So overall, fun week! Too bad we have a Monday schedule tomorrow on Tuesday (aka lots of homework!).

Recent Projects

I love doing crafts . . . call me an old, boring craft lady.  It’s okay, it doesn’t bother me.


I am not a creative person.  I am not musically inclined, and I think people sometimes question if I really am Mormon or not because I never grew up playing the piano, playing an instrument, or singing.  To try to prove that I am Mormon, I decided to take a beginning piano class . . . just kidding. I took it for other reasons.  I’ll save my thoughts on that class for another post.


Anyway, I am not artistic either. When I draw pictures, I feel obligated to sign them with my left hand because the art work is so poor that it looks like a five-year-old drew it.


The point I am trying to make is that one thing that I do like to do is crafts. My absolute favorite store is Campus Craft and Floral in the bottom of the Wilk. Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I go to Campus Craft and Floral and walk around. Such a fun store! It’s so cute, but it’s a little pricey. So I like to steal their ideas and make the stuff myself.


Here are some of the projects that I have done in the last month:


We got a table and chairs for free (thanks KSL!), and they are in pretty good quality. The chair fabric was a little battered, though, so I reupholstered them.

This is what they looked like before. And after,

It was a lot of fun, and not too hard at all! Plus, I got the fabric for a way good deal! $3 a yard!


Also, here are some cute little Valentine’s Day decorations:

And then this floral arrangement:


So there you have it. You know how to win me over. Just get me a gift card to Michael’s, Jo-Ann, or Robert’s.

Feeling Pretty Fly-y-y-y-y

So, as I previously mentioned, I will disclose the price.  Keisha Lake won the contest from the thousands of contestants that entered.  She guessed $823548961597657.26, and the correct price was $20! Great job, Keisha! You won a high-five!

Anyway, I have loved riding the Firebolt around campus.  And people are, oh so, jealous.  I speed past people and get places in half the time.  Though, one thing that I have been struggling with is getting up the hills to campus.  Walking up the dreaded hills are bad, but over the past three years, I have been able to master the technique of walking/running up hills while trying to make it to class on time (Step one: place the right foot in front.  Step two: place the left foot in front.  Step three: repeat infinitely).


I am an amateur when it comes to riding up hills on a bike.  The past week I have had to come up with various excuses to stop mid-hill due to the extreme wheezing.  I used all the tricks in my book:


  • Dropping something. This allows maximum time to get off the bike, collect item(s), readjust, and get back on the bike. This is one of my favorites because you can lengthen the time off the bike according to how tired you are without looking too ridiculous.
  • Finding a friend to talk to.  This can be a little harder because you need to turn the conversation so they are doing most of the talking, so you can collect your breath.
  • Pretending to be afraid that the ice is too slick, so needing to walk the bike up the hill instead.
  • Tying your shoe.
  • Tightening your Velcro strap around your pant leg.
  • Pretending your gears on the bike are messed up.


As you can see, I am seriously a baby.


After comments like, “You aren’t suppose to take your bike for a walk” and “That’s not what you do with a bike”, I decided that it was time for me to become a big girl, and to make it up the big, scary hill.

This is how big the hill practically is, but I conquered it on February 10, 2011 at 10:37 a.m.  I then conquered it again three hours after that.  That’s right ladies and gentlemen, twice in one day.  I was feeling pretty fly-y-y-y about myself.  I was peddling with a swagger, if you will.


I was back peddling like a normal person quickly, though.  I was trying to go up onto a sidewalk from the road, and apparently I was too parallel-like to the curb instead of perpendicular-like because I completely biffed it.  Like, on the ground, bike on top of me, biffed it.  I quickly got back onto my bike, and rode away humbled.


Anyway, the firebolt and I are still cruising (up hills now!), but a little more cautiously.

New Form of Transportation!

Hi, my name is Rachel Arleane Alford. I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio December 27, 1989, and I am majoring in marketing.


This is what I feel like you need to tell everyone when you move into a new ward/apartment. It gets all the small talk out of the way, so why don’t you just say it upfront? My roommates use to make fun of me for doing that. I think it’s completely okay to shake someone’s hand, and say these two sentences. Maybe I will make a business where you can have a cute sign printed out that says all of the pointless stuff that people feel obligated to ask when they first meet you but don’t actually remember. Hmmm . . .


Anyway, the reason why I bring this up is because if you don’t know me already (stalker), than the marketing major part would be applicable to you. See, when I wrote the post called preview, I said that Ken and I got a new form of transportation. I am sorry if you thought that meant a car. We did not get a car, but we got something way cooler than that, so I know that you won’t even be upset.


We got it on KSL. (KSL is the coolest! It’s like the lazy approach to thrift shopping, hence, I love it!)


Here’s the beauty:

And in case that wasn’t big enough to see the fine color/detailing:



Now, I like to play a game called “How Much Did She Pay for That?” We always play this game for anything that I buy that I feel like is a way good bargain. So here are the rules:


1. Name a price that you know is over how much I really paid because if you name a price too low, then I will feel like I got ripped off.

2. Post it as a comment, and then I will tell you in my next blog post what the correct price is.


Anyway, I think Queen said it best,


“Bicycle Bicycle Bicycle
I Want To Ride My Bicycle Bicycle Bicycle
I Want To Ride My Bicycle
I Want To Ride My Bike
I Want To Ride My Bicycle
I Want To Ride It Where I Like”

I always sing this in my head when I ride to school, work, etc. It also works out really well because both my front and back brakes squeak a ton, so I have some musical accompaniment.


Oh, and did I mention the name of the bike? It’s called,


The Firebolt

because I ride so fast on it and stuff (yeah, right. I am a slow-poke and extremely weak.)


Anyway, look for me cruising (or wheezing) along in Provo.