The McNuggwich

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, at the ripe old age of 24 years, 10 months, and 19 days, my cash cow has finally come in, and I can retire when I turn 25. How is this possible, you ask yourself? Well, I am clearly a culinary genius and have invented McDonald’s newest gimmicky “limited time” sandwich. Move over McRib sandwich and make some room for the mighty McNuggwich! What exactly is a McNuggwich, you say? Just take a gander at the ingredients and let your mind do the rest . . . because I was too excited after I made mine and ate it

1 slice bread + 4 chicken nuggets + mozzarella cheese + honey mustard + ketchup + J-Dawgs special sauce = McNuggwich

You must be thinking by now, how is this going to make you millions, Sir Alford? Simple. I’ve enlisted Rachel’s help to make a sweet marketing brochure to send off to McDonald’s headquarters. Once they see the glory that is the McNuggwich, and after they taste it themselves (we’ll of course include a complimentary sandwich in the package with the marketing brochure), they’ll come begging for me to sell them the rights. That’s right, don’t get any quick ideas about stealing this beauty. In the 5 short hours since its inception, I have managed to procure a patent number (5623325465545634232456677) for it, so hands off, unless you want to pay a handsome royalty for it to touch your taste buds.

You read it here first. The McNuggwich. Make sure to read the menu carefully next time you grace a McDonald’s . . .

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