Britney Spears

So I’m not going to make this blog into a funny Youtube video blog, but this video has to be shown. Enjoy!

Advertisements

Cats 2

So since I posted that cat email conversation recently, I decided I would show this YouTube video as well.

 

 

So funny! Thanks Tracey and Jacob for showing us this gem.

 

P.S. Last night I played with the neighbor’s cat for 40 minutes. I am on my way to being as psycho as this lady. Also, this video makes it all the more funny because she was submitting it as her dating profile.

Sinking to a Whole New Level

Yesterday Kenneth and I hit a new low.

If you didn’t know, yesterday was 7/11, which means free slurpees at 7/11! At 5 I rushed out of work, and Ken and I went to 7/11. There were no free slurpee cups left, so we went to another one. We found the same results at that 7/11. Ken saw a friend there, and they told us about another 7/11 a few blocks away. We decided to try it out.

Ken dropped me off so I could run in to see if they still had cups, and they did! :) I patiently waited in line. Ken came inside as we were nearing the front. Then they ran out of cups! We were right there.

And that’s when we sunk to a whole new level. Ken said, “No one will deny me of my free slurpee.” And then he made it happen.

Ken saw a free slurpee cup on the counter. He took the used mustard packets out of the cup. He surveyed the cup, saw the crack that ran from the top to the bottom, and wrapped his hand around the cup. He then filled it, rushed over to a corner, wrapped a napkin around the cracked cup, and slurped up the slurpee.

Yes, we used a used cup. Yes, the first sip tasted like mustard. Yes, there could have been all kinds of diseases. Yes, I am not concerned because I am currently being vaccinated for all sorts of fun stuff . . . so I know that won’t really help. I am just trying to justify our actions.

On that note, one month until Fiji! :)

Bills . . . Bills . . . Bills

You know you are pathetic when you get excited when bills come in the mail. That would be our lives. For the last week, we have been counting down the days for when we will get our utility bills. We have made it a game to see how low we can get it. I can proudly say that we have, yet again, lowered our electric and gas bills. I know, pretty outstanding. Try to contain your excitement.

 

What I came home to yesterday. I even was nice and waited for Ken to open it with me.

 

During the winter we were paying nearly $70 for gas. We have a gas stove, but still, that is abnormally high. And it wasn’t like we were cranking the heat or anything. When we would wake up in the morning, our thermostat would read 52 degrees. For real. Talk about hard to get out of bed.

 

Anyway, our gas bill was only . . . drum roll please . . . .

 

 

$14.00!

 

Can I get a woot woot?! Yeah, I know.

Mini-Golfing

So the first date that Kenneth and I went on consisted of being kicked out of the Wilkinson Center, having a ball putted up Kenneth’s shorts, and Kenneth coming in last place. :)

What we did for the date was mini-golfing around campus. We each took turns making up different ridiculously impossible holes, like going up a handicapped ramp or going down flights of stairs, by placing a plastic cup in random spots around campus. It was extremely fun.

This past month we checked up on Kenneth’s parents’ house periodically. They graciously gave us some “fun money”, so we decided to do something we would not normally do, so we went to Trafalga. It was a blast! I have never been, but it was pretty fun. We went mini-golfing, go-kart racing, played arcade games, and ate dip-and-dots (for a pretty good price, too!). Trafalga does date nights, and the names of the date packages are hilarious. The smallest package is called “Cubic Zirconia”. Haha.

So this go-around, Kenneth came in first, almost all the arcade games were broken, and he creamed me in go-kart racing. He had to slow down so that I could catch because he was so bored.

 

Look at that form! He even is sticking out his tongue!

This is the ending hole. Your ball gets sucked away forever. Also, look at the sky. That probably would be way cooler if I had a nicer camera.

Kenneth in his victory pose.

Thanks for the fun money, Mom and Dad! :)

 

Embarrassing story:

We played air-hockey twice, and we were getting way into it. We were slamming the poor puck as hard as we could back and forth (or at least I was wailing on it as hard as I could . . . Kenneth probably wasn’t). I am happy to say that we both walked away happy because we both won one game. Anyway, the next day my arm was sore. Pathetic.

Cats

This is such a funny email thread. Stacy gave it to me, so I guess I have to give her the credit.

 

The thread is kind of long, but I think it’s worth it. Enjoy! :)

 

 

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David T*****
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don’t like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

Regards, David.

 

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

From: David T*****
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon W******
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

From: Shannon W******
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David T*****
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.